Peace, Love & Music

One Person

2012-01-22T23:06:00.000-08:00

Welcome back. The people are blowing their party horns and throwing confetti, welcoming me with a pile of worries and strife. This has been one heck of a ride and I'm not wearing my seatbelt. When this car crashes, I don't want to be stuck in my seatbelt, I want to be ejected from the car through the windshield so I can get up and leave the accident behind.

People... Tearing the temple down people... curious and reckless people... observant emotionless people... lifeless, loveless, and damaged people. These are the things I am surrounded with. I am only one person, but one person can plant a seed.. and that seed can produce and fruitful tree of love and that fruitful tree will bear a million more seeds to be planted and cycle over again. I am one person and I can plant that love. Jesus Heals :)

First Mind

2011-11-10T20:46:00.001-08:00

As of late I found out that second guessing is not my forte. I tell myself 'always go with your first mind.' I only have one mind anyways lol. Every single time I second guess myself or listen to some other decision made off of impulse of emotion... its....WRONG! I'm sticking to it and it's sticking to me :) First mind to the resuuuuuuuueeeeeee!!!

Off-beat... Off-time... Off-love

2011-10-14T13:11:00.000-07:00

Everybody is on their 1s and 2s and somehow I always seem to land on a 3. It's amazing how my timing is always off. God always directs me to where I just missed it (whatever "it" is). But I don't see that as a bad thing. My timing just might be the very thing protecting from somewhere I don't need to go. He puts me in the right spot and when I mess up, He reroutes me to put me where I am supposed to be. I appreciate all that He has done for me. I love how when God has a will, there is nothing anyone else can do about it. Our relationship is blossoming daily. I never get bored with Him. Jesus brought me a peace that I've never had before. There's a calm inside of my fire. I find a calm fire to be very off, but beautiful. There is no competition. I tried steering my life and I lost control of the wheel. Just when I was about to crash... there He was to my rescue. Jesus is my hero... no cape necessary :) Im a little off beat and a little off time but it's all off love, the real kind.

Visions and Dreams... Picking Out the Weeds

2011-10-09T15:03:00.000-07:00

I try not to get caught up in the "right now" or present time. I try to prepare for the future. School sometimes feels like a 4 year jail sentence, and you can get out early on good behavior LOL. But I am taking this time to prepare for when I reach the "real world"... for me hopefully it will be the "real MUSIC world"!!! :)

It's so easy to get caught up in the desires of today and mess up the vision of tomorrow. I have dreams and ambitions that are only out of reach if I let them be. I start this process by surrounding myself with people that believe in me and not only push me but support. Support is mental and emotional... it's inspirational. Support are those very few people that keep you in their prayers and have enough heart to let God know they believe in what you are doing. Support is them giving that call at a random moment just letting you know that they are there for you. I don't want to bring myself down in any type of way so even when I want to be around "friends" and socialize, it's not the best business decision. If your vision doesn't line up with mine then I must let you go. Even if you aren't causing any harm, I still have to let you go because you aren't doing anything good... you are just occupying space in time in my journey.

I know people who have good intentions but their intentions do not match their actions. Until those people get that right then they will not be in my itinerary. I have to pick out the weeds in my garden. A garden cannot be beautiful if weeds come in and take over. That's nothing special. I don't water weeds, I water flowers. I don't feed into things that don't match my vision... I care for the things that help make my dream into a life so real that feels surreal.

The Packages, The Obstacles & The Blind

2011-10-08T23:57:00.000-07:00

Nothing great in life comes easy. It takes work, practice, and persistence. Some people expect the ideal package. . . the perfect gift wrapped with a pretty bow. But not all things great appear to be beautiful. When u find a treasure, does the chest glow? No its usually some old ancient dull looking wood with a rusty lock somewhere in the depths of the ocean with a skeleton laying next to it. . .

The point I'm trying to make is, what people are looking for in life might not come with a pretty beautiful bow, it might just be a u-haul box with the goodies inside. I listen to guys all the time pointing out the type of woman they want and where they would find her. Quality is not in location nor looks... its in the heart.

What if that girl you were looking for was at a party just relieving stress and the girl studying had a booty call right after she was done? What if the girl who appeared to be quiet and innocent was really the sneakiest thing on the planet??? What if the sweet girl was only sweet because she naive and hadn't been through anything and when she finally does, it shatters her personality and damages her heart to an intolerable point with no repair??? Stop looking for your package to appear a certain way and sort through the contents. The girl you are looking for may just be at the party because she knows how to handle herself, or you just might see her often because her main goal is to network and not to leisurely socialize. The girl you are looking for is true beauty, not the artificial kind. Keep looking through these pretty little boxes and see how much treasure you will find.

Self Investment

2011-10-03T00:32:00.000-07:00

Hello Fellow Bloggers and Believers

I've been away from my blog quite some time now but I had to get my head together... not that it fell apart but// you know what I mean.

I've realized that there is a time where one needs to invest in one's self. I've decided to stop throwing away my money and invest it in my future and most importantly pay my tithes. Why only plant seeds with everything else but your pockets??? Makes no sense.

I am now filling in the dead air with melodic, elegant sounds in my life... getting the things that benefit me in the long run. That's something that everyone should do... dreams are only as far as you make them or as distant as you place yourself should I say (well I did say lol)

This is just the start of my future... there is much more to come. I'm going to keep my poker face and business mind and not get too excited about things, just take the proper steps in order to maintain peace, retain love, and make beautiful music.

SINCERELY............... KIA RENEE :)

Im Listening

2011-09-05T10:00:00.000-07:00

When He speaks... I listen.
It's something heavy because I've been feeling it since last week.
The leaves are dancing, the birds have gone away.
Im not afraid to suffer.
Jesus is on my side.

Blank Canvas

2011-09-04T13:50:00.001-07:00

I would like to start this day off by thanking God for keeping me safe even at the times I put myself in danger. My heart is a beast and will eat me alive for anything ungodly. I could go without a shower for a week and it won't feel as dirty as speaking profanity. I can roll around in maggots and will feel filthier for telling a lie. I could be covered in spiders but that won't even come close to the feeling that I have if my Savior is not pleased with me.

I look at myself as a blank canvas. I have no kids, no husband, no boyfriend, hardly any friends, good health, I'm 20years old, no major health issues, and Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. I have the potential to conquer anything, but potential will not make it alone. I am a blank canvas. What I paint on this canvas is up to me. I would like to be colorful yet still pure. I would like to be vivid and bright like the light that God gave me to shine. As of late, I haven't been living up to my full Christian potential and I am putting an end to this now.

Today was a very special day, but some things in my recent and late past has been tearing me apart and eating me up and I didn't even know until there was only a drop of my heart left. I closed my heart to so many people. I built yet another tower of grudges after God had helped me released the first batch. I allowed the outside world to distort my inner thoughts and tamper with my heart. But I've been watching God at work. Every time I make a mess on this clean white canvas he gave me, he cleans it up for me and I have yet another chance to start again. He has protected me from harm with His rejection. I try to go one way and He builds up a big giant wall with red flags all around it saying WRONG WAY! I listen and turn around but end up taking another path of wrong. It's amazing how stubborn I can be. But I am thankful to still be a blank canvas. It's finally time to paint and I am picking my colors out wisely. I've been listening and now I have to show what I've heard. It is time to once again go back and never leave.

I love Church of the Champions so much. They believe, they love, and they restore. I'm putting my heart back in the right place and opening it for business once again. Love is now in full effect! I... AM... A... BLANK... CANVAS.

Back to my Creator

2011-09-01T23:49:00.000-07:00

Here I am once again... feeling more eerie than the lake (bad joke Kia). I couldn't quite understand why but I knew the root of the problem all along. I need to go back to my Creator and fix this same problem again. I never understood why the devil wants to do the same thing to me over and over again. I don't let it bother me as much anymore. I was born with a lot of love. I receive a lot of hate. Not the type of hate as in people are jealous so they say things to downplay your potential but the animosity that lives in your flesh. It's crazy, every form of love I experienced has a large dose of hate attached to it. That's from everyone except my sister. She's my sanity.

So here I am with grudges as high as the sky. I'm so upset with sooooo many people. What can I expect out of this world though? Opening up to people is no longer an option. I'm officially closed for business. I'm not going to say forget everyone though. I'm simply going to hand these problem to my savior and make myself new again. I'm tired of being ready to go to the end of the world for someone, family or friends, and they aren't willing to do the same for me.

I have to remember that God made me special. There isn't another me in the world. I was designed to endure a lot of emotional pain and not come out with a damaged heart. Just because someone did me wrong or didn't have a heart as big as mine does not mean I am supposed to stoop down to their level. I'm going to make sure that my heart is even bigger and love even harder the next time. I'm going to be so filled with love that heaven is going to be the only way. I'm going back to my Creator. Back to my peace. Back to my love. Back to my life. Back to my Lord.