Here I am once again... feeling more eerie than the lake (bad joke Kia). I couldn't quite understand why but I knew the root of the problem all along. I need to go back to my Creator and fix this same problem again. I never understood why the devil wants to do the same thing to me over and over again. I don't let it bother me as much anymore. I was born with a lot of love. I receive a lot of hate. Not the type of hate as in people are jealous so they say things to downplay your potential but the animosity that lives in your flesh. It's crazy, every form of love I experienced has a large dose of hate attached to it. That's from everyone except my sister. She's my sanity.
So here I am with grudges as high as the sky. I'm so upset with sooooo many people. What can I expect out of this world though? Opening up to people is no longer an option. I'm officially closed for business. I'm not going to say forget everyone though. I'm simply going to hand these problem to my savior and make myself new again. I'm tired of being ready to go to the end of the world for someone, family or friends, and they aren't willing to do the same for me.
I have to remember that God made me special. There isn't another me in the world. I was designed to endure a lot of emotional pain and not come out with a damaged heart. Just because someone did me wrong or didn't have a heart as big as mine does not mean I am supposed to stoop down to their level. I'm going to make sure that my heart is even bigger and love even harder the next time. I'm going to be so filled with love that heaven is going to be the only way. I'm going back to my Creator. Back to my peace. Back to my love. Back to my life. Back to my Lord.
